Food Pyramid

I took a trip to Trader Ho's today and below are my purchases:


We gotta eat our 5 food groups right?
1) Bread, Cereal, Rice and Pasta Group: Multi-grain Pita Chips
2) Vegetable Group: Veggie Root Chips
3) Fruit Group: Citrus Gum Drops & Chocolate covered Powerberries
4) Milk, Yogurt, & Cheese Group: Raspberry & Vanilla Cream Bars
5) Meat, Poultry, Fish, Dry Beans, Eggs & Nuts Group: Malted Milk Eggs, Nutty Bits
6) *Use Sparingly Group - Fats, Oils & Sweets: NADA!

Who doesn't love shopping healthy at Trader Ho's?

Haribo Attack

I have an urgent craving for gummies. I am seriously contemplating on ordering some from Amazon. They sell 5 lb bags! Check out this 5 lb bag of "techno gummies":


How awesome is that. I want to order a pack of each kind so I could be surrounded by gummies and eat them while I watch the new 90210. Wishful thinking. I only have gummy vitamins at home and I'm not sure how healthy it would be to eat them as haribo gummies. My godson's house is full of gummies because his father is a candy addict. He has a candy bin right next to the couch! Hmmm.. time for a visit.

Save the Date

My BFF's "Save the Date" card came in the mail last week! I love the simple knot design and curry yellow envelope. Check out the vintage stamps as well:


I can't wait for her and her fiance to tie the knot. She is going to be the cutest, little bride ever!

Girlfriends are forever

It was yet another lazy Sunday afternoon spent with my godson and his mama today. I haven't seen him for at least two weeks and I swear, he has grown! He's the cutest baby ever. As we sat outside Fantasia chatting over tea, two old, shriveled up trannies walked by us in super high heels - one in tight black leggings and the other in daisy duke jean shorts. We've seen a lot of douchebags and nasty women at Santana Row, but never this! It was a total shocker. We were speechless.

I love spending time with my godson and his mama. Sometimes, I can totally understand why women become lesbians. We just understand each other a lot more than the opposite sex - and we are a lot cleaner! I miss being in the honeymoon period when I actually thought I was "special". No, it's not even that time of the month. I'm sending my love to all my girlfriends because they are the best! Girlfriends (and diamonds) are forever.

Food Revolution

Americans are dying from obesity! I watched Jamie Oliver's new reality show "Food Revolution" tonight and it was so saddening to see what little kids in America are eating at school these days. It is even more saddening to see that a BRITISH person is trying to make changes for the kids and not an American. This is America's food supply:


Although I must admit, there are many items above that I do enjoy myself, Jamie Oliver is right. America is in need of a Food Revolution.

Three's Company

I am babysitting my cousin's pup Purcell for the next 2 weeks. Taking care of two doggies is a lot of work! See what a pig Shady is:



And look how messy they are:

Old Skool

I was rummaging through some old stuff, trying to donate what I can, and found a few vintage items. Check out this old skool camera:



There's even a roll of film in there. I wonder if it can still be developed. I think it is from 1988 or so.

My BFF and I used to collect rocks and geodes. Read her blog to see how nerdy we were. I can't seem to find my rock collection. Boo. I have to dig deeper.

Oh and I finally finished the hubby's online traffic school exam. I got 94%. I was hoping for 100%. Reviewing all the traffic guidelines just confirmed that I have road rage. I cuss and stare vehemently at every stupid driver who does me wrong.

"Precious"

Finally, it is out on DVD. I've netflixed it and cannot wait until it is delivered to my home. I am scared of Mo'Nique. She is one scary motha in that movie - at least from the preview. In real life, she's pretty scary too. I think she needs electrolysis. Speaking of Hollywood, I can't believe Jesse James cheated on Sandra. So sad. I thought they were truly in love. What a douchebag!

Nothing going on these past few days. Still recovering from my cold. I am craving an in-n-out burger...mmm...maybe watching "Precious" will curb my craving.



Shady craving a burger as well..

Sex Addiction

I chatted with the BFF until 4 am this morning. Some topics included: Tiger Woods and sex addiction, our weirdness, Jimmy Kimmel's handsome men's club, penises, our love of Paris and hate of United States, non marriage material, male crushes, our awesomeness, what great catches we are.. and I can't remember what else. I specifically remember Tiger Woods and sex addiction though. What IS that? I mean, is it really that hard to keep a penis in its place? The doctor who came up with this diagnosis must have been male.

Attack of the Baby Mamas

I attended a going-away party for a high school friend of mine who is moving back to Taiwan. There were quite a lot of people and food - one attendee made 5 gourmet pizzas. I ate a slice of each. I promise, my detox diet begins tomorrow.

There were also a lot of babies and baby mamas. Lately, all the parties I've been to have been filled with those. My biological clock may be ticking but I'm not ready to sacrifice my time just yet. I haven't even figured out what I want to do with my life! I'm starting to feel like I'll never figure it out ... maybe I was meant to be a waste-of-space housewife? Sigh... I need a sign from God. Wait, I'm not religious, so a sign from anyone will do.

Love and Joy

Today was a fun filled Saturday. Me, my godson's mama and two other gal pals enjoyed high tea at Lovejoy's, a cute little tea room in the city, followed by Bi-Rite ice cream and then pastries at Tartine's. I so wanted to get a croissant but I was just too full!






On my way home, I stopped by Target to get some more cold medicine. Browsing through the aisles, I found a wonderful surprise - release of the "New Moon" DVD! A midget Target employee was trying to get around my cart and then complained "People are going crazy over this New Moon stuff. So stupid!"... I laughed, picked up a dvd off the shelf, and then dropped it in my cart.


I found another surprise when I got home. My BFF sent me a "just because" gift! In the package was an awesome card and a beautiful necklace. She truly understands me and my needs. Thank you BFF!

Mr. & Mrs. Smith

I hate going to the dentist. But my dentist is pretty awesome. He plays movies for me every time I go in to get my teeth cleaned. Yesterday, I went in for a cleaning and I got to watch "Mr. & Mrs. Smith." Angelina Jolie is so effin' hot. I would become a lesbian for her. I wouldn't mind settling for Mr. Pitt either though. I got nervous when my dentist started laughing - he was watching the movie too.


My godson's mama is back at work and I went into her classroom today to help her 3rd graders type up a summary they wrote from last week. They just began to learn word processing. Everyone had their own Macbooks and USB flash drive. How things have changed since I was in 3rd grade. I think they know how to operate a computer more than my parents know how!

i want.

Even if the only person who sees this set on is myself. Too bad they don't have XS because my boobies are too small. i love anthropologie. And stripes.


The hubby said he netflixed "The Proposal" and watched it last night. Isn't that a chik flik? I know he's not hot for Sandra Bullock so it must be Ryan Reynolds. Hmm...?

Lesson of the day:
Do not eat a grapefruit with a facemask on. My face got stuck together.

Spring Cleaning

The weather is getting warmer, days are getting longer, grass is getting greener.. it's finally time for spring cleaning! I am so happy that winter is coming to an end, but not happy that I will need to shrink my ass for bikini season. Time for some serious workouts and healthy eating - once I finish the girl scout cookies (almost done). Spring cleaning includes cleaning out both the clothing and food closet. Today is St. Patrick's Day - perfect day for thin mints! See, I'm cleaning already.

I'm taking online traffic school for the hubby, because he asked. I know I have all the time in the world right now, but this online class is so boring and time consuming! Ugh.. all in the name of love.

Karma

I'm sick again and I think it's because I've been too mean lately. Every person that I've laughed at, mocked, been mean to is now cursing me. I promise to be nice for the rest of the week. Must be karma. Going to drink my nighttime theraflu and conk out.

Good deed

I made a run to Costco today to restock on paper towels, toilet paper, kleenex, and all the good stuff. While waiting in line to pay for my goods, the man behind me asked if he could checkout first since he only had two items. I'm usually pretty nice about this stuff but something about him was annoying. Maybe it was the fact that he just kept trying to push his cart in front of mine even before asking! Plus, I was in a hurry to get home. Here is how the conversation went down:

Man (whistling or something): Excuse miss, I only have two things.
Me (staring at him in the face and then looking at his cart): I don't have that many things either, they're just big items.
Man: Would you let me go in front of you? See, I have this roasted chicken.
Me: Well, since it's roasted it's not going to spoil. You can wait.
Man (Still trying to push his cart in front of mine): I only have two items. Please you can do a good deed today and let me go first.
Me (Clearly annoyed and reluctant): Just ask the couple in front of me then if you want to go first.

Of course the nice Indian couple in front of me said yes and the annoying man got his way. I wanted to stuff that roast chicken down his throat. Obviously, I am not a good samaritan.

Fight Night

Last night, I went to a "Fight Night" party hosted by my godson's parents. I'm not into boxing, but all I know was that the little Filipino boxer Manny was fighting some other guy. Manny won. Manny looks like my godson's uncle Matt.

Though it was a testosterone filled party, I got to hang out with a lot of mommies, mommy-to-be's and babies. I may have been the only without offspring. The best part of the party? Eating drumsticks, the ice cream version! Oh, and of course, seeing my godson and his mama.

damn you girl scouts

I was so excited when I noticed a girl scout cookies booth outside the supermarket today. I could not wait to get my hands on a box of thin mints, samoas, and tagalongs. I wasn't so excited anymore after the little girl told me that each box was four dollars! WTF - they used to be two! Not only that, the boxes are also smaller. So I settled on only two boxes - the thin mints and tagalongs. I figured it'd be better for me anyways. I gave the little girl seven dollars first and she passed it to her father who was stationed behind the booth. While looking for the last dollar, her father opened his big fat mouth and whined that I owed another dollar. I know you old fart, I was looking for some change! Damn you girl scout cookies and girl scout father! Damn you for making my ass fatter!

Congrats, BFF!

She is going to be the next Walt Disney - but female, and BETTER!
This would be our version of the "It's a Small World" ride at Disneyland:


Speaking of my BFF, planning for her bachelorette party has begun! We are headed for..drumroll...New Orleans! I can't say much since, well, she is 1 out of the 2 people who reads this blog. All I can say is, it will be so much fun.

Dexter

I am addicted to Dexter. It's this series on Showtime about a serial killer who kills serial killers. I have two more seasons to go and then I'll be all caught up. He cuts up his victims into pieces, throws the parts in a garbage bag and then dumps them into the ocean. It would be really easy for Dexter to chop me up into pieces since I'm so short and round. How sad.

Handicapped

I cut myself trying to open a jar of strawberry jam last night - it was already opened halfway but somehow, the top of the jar cracked and as I was turning the cap, I scraped my thumb against the broken glass.. and then I felt pain... and saw blood.. and almost fainted. Ughhhh My hubby is going to divorce me if my thumb falls off! I'm no longer going to be perfect! Booo... (Oh wait, I think it's the opposite way around. If he loses any body parts, I will leave him because I'm superficial like that). Being handicapped SUCKS. I had to throw away the jar of jam because of the broken pieces of glass that fell into it. I didn't get to eat my PB&J sandwich! I hate everyone.

Back in the USofA

Sadly, our Paris/Madrid trip has come to an end. We had so much fun, and we cannot wait to go back to Paris! I'm so jetlagged right now, but I promise to give updates soon. A few pics to enjoy for now. I finally got my baguette!